I hate not being able to post regularly, especially when I am in the middle of a series of posts, like the ones for the Hunger Challenge. It’s been a very rough few weeks filled with electricity shut-offs, major shingles & PHN flare ups (I’m getting really good at that strut-limp, though) and my eldest cat, Beni, having a stroke. I’m walking a lot better now, and Beni is recuperating slowly, but now… now…
By now, most of you who follow me on Facebook know my father’s health has been declining for the past few months. His dialysis hasn’t been effective and he’s entered the last stages of renal failure. He’s been getting weaker and sicker with every passing day. Last month he asked to see me over Skype (he lives in another country and we haven’t been able to see each other in over 6 years, so thankfully we have the internet). They read him his last rites, and he was so pale, weak and unresponsive, I didn’t think he’d last much longer. But he is a fighter (guess that’s where I get it from!) and has held on until now.
Yesterday his wife let me know things were much worse, so we Skyped again. I never thought he could get worse than how he was last month, but… he did. I thought I was prepared for what I saw, but I wasn’t. I knew immediately that this was it. He hasn’t eaten in five days, can’t open his eyes, can’t breathe much – he’s nowhere near the shadow of the strong, powerful, vibrant man that I remember so well. When his brother-in-law had to physically move his head to see if he might be able to see me through the slits in his eyes (where he was barely present, poor thing), I lost it. He’s going, going, going…
I know he can hear me when we Skype, because he tries valiantly to open his eyes, and whenever he hears me say “Daddy” his right cheek twitches. But it’s time. Today, a doctor visited him and determined that he’s had another stroke (he had one about 4 years ago as a result of complications of diabetes). It’s damaged him permanently and there is no longer anything that can be done for him.
As much as it shreds me inside to not be with him and know that my hero, my king, my one and only main man will be leaving those of us who’ve loved him so well, I know that what he needs now is peace. I pray that he doesn’t have to suffer much longer and that his exit from this realm will be as quick and painless as possible. I don’t want to see him go, but I want him to be set free of this. He’s tired; he deserves to rest.
Anyway, I wanted to thank you for your patience thus far and for your continued patience as I go through this. I will do my very best to post at least the Hunger Challenge posts as soon as I can, but I hope you’ll understand if it takes a while. And if you pray, please pray for my daddy and that he will be at peace soon.
Thank you, and I will be back as soon as I can,