For those who don’t follow me on social media and weren’t aware, the reason why I have been away for so long is that I was attacked by a trespasser at my apartment complex back in February. I was starting to write some big long things to process it all, but I realize I’m STILL not ready for all that. It hurts too much.
Suffice it to say that I received some pretty bad physical injuries and horrific mental and emotional ones. I was punched in the face and ended up with a bad nasal contusion; I was pulled off the stairs by my hair and thrown into the bushes, where I was punched repeatedly in the head. I tried to defend myself, but the woman who did this to me was experienced in the assault, and it was best for me to protect myself rather than try fighting back. I was bruised, had cuts on my head, a concussion, and a badly sprained thumb, which was a result of her stepping on my hand repeatedly as I tried reaching for my phone so that I could call someone… anyone.
I can still see my fingers reaching through the wet dirt, trying to get to my phone as she kept punching my head over and over again.
It took about 3 months before I could wear my glasses comfortably again, and almost as long for my thumb to heal and be used again. But the emotional scars, the flashbacks, the nightmares from the trauma… those are going to take much longer to heal.
My voice was taken from me these last few months. Not because I didn’t have ideas or the desire to write, but because I’m still terrified. Four months later, I still live in fear even though she’s in custody (though, part of that is because our trespasser issues have increased over the past few months). I live in fear of how to pay the $10,000 hospital bill from that day, just when I was trying to get myself back on track financially. I am trying so hard to live a “normal” life because if I don’t, I will absolutely lose it. But trying is the best I can do right now.
The good news is that it does get easier every day to do the trying. The support I received, and continue to receive from my friends is overwhelming, and absolutely why I am doing this well, all things considered. I’m very busy at work, so that helps keeps my mind busy, though the first couple of weeks after the attack were too physically and mentally painful for me to make it through. My gas is still shut off at home, but I’m making great strides with my makeshift kitchen set up, and hope to have everything back up and running by the fall or winter.
In the meantime, I’ve kept up as much as I could on social media, and have shared some fun meals on Instagram, many of which have become quite popular. The next recipe is one of those, the response to it so overwhelming, that I just had to take the plunge and post. I can’t guarantee my writing will be any good for a while, but I’ll do my best. I just wanted to let you all know what was going on, and thank you for the continued positive vibes and patience. It’s helped me more than you will ever know.
Stay tuned for the next recipe! It’ll be a healthy, but fun one. YES, you can have both at the same time! 😉